Scenes you won’t find on a calender - a non-politcal article
A snow-draped village, snow gently falling, and people rushing merrily about with big smiles stretching from ear to ear—a typical winter scene in northern Vermont? Not necessarily, that is, unless you look at one of the many calendars that romanticize winter in the great snowy north.
I can’t help but wonder how many folks from warmer climates have been wooed to our cold climate by the tranquil winter scenes pictured on many calendars. Following are some aspects of winter life that calendars seldom or ever depict:
· Blinding snowstorms. Most of the calendars show snow gently falling, but seldom do they show blinding whiteouts that make seeing more than a couple feet impossible. Walking is difficult, but driving is impossible. Once the snow stops, the fun begins—removing two to three feet of tranquility.
· Frost bite. When was the last time you saw somebody suffering from severe frost bite, especially after one of those rustic hay rides on a cold night, on a calendar?
· Firewood. Some of those calendars show a family gathered around a quaint fireplace burning brightly, but the calendars don’t show the work behind the wood. The wood is cut, split, and piled outside for several months to dry. Then in the final throes of fall, it’s time to destroy those neatly stacked woodpiles and throw the wood piece by piece down into the cellar. Once it’s down in the cellar it’s time to pile it all over again. Why don’t calendar pictures show the family arguing about who is going to tromp down the cellar next to get chunks of firewood to feed that “quaint” fireplace?
· Chasing air leaks. During the summer most Vermonters don’t seem to mind a less than airtight house, but come winter, most of us, especially those who own older homes, become all too aware of those pesky leaks. I make a game of tracking down those elusive leaks, whether they’re around a window or in the nooks and crannies of a cellar made out of fieldstones.
· Thawing pipes. There is nothing like going to start your day with a hot shower only to turn on the faucet and find that the water pipes are frozen solid. Finding frozen pipes is a guessing game. In earlier years I used a blowtorch to thaw the pipes, but this is definitely not recommended because of the fire risk. One could easily end up with thawed pipes, but a burned-down house. Instead, I turn to the family’s trusty hair dryer to do the job.
· Jump starting the car. If it’s too cold for one of my vehicles to start, it’s too cold for me to be standing out in the cold jump-starting my vehicle and praying for it to start. I have heard horror stories about batteries exploding if the jumper cables aren’t connected correctly. The fear of blowing my face off is always on my mind.
· Getting around in the snow. “Dashing through the snow in a one horse open sleigh….” might sound like a romantic idea, but “dashing” along a snowy, sometimes ice-covered road, even in a four-wheel drive SUV, can provide a bit of excitement for even the most accomplished drivers.
· Winter sports. There is nothing like swooshing down a hill or a mountain on a toboggan, tube, skies, or snowboard. Sometimes, though, these fun activities turn to family gatherings in the emergency room as bodies meet trees and other obstacles. Winter is probably the busiest time of year for hospital emergency rooms as the doctors try to put people back together after they have had all of their “fun.”
· Falls. Talking about emergency rooms, there is nothing like enjoying the beauty of the snowy paradise, but watch your step because one slip on the ice and you’ll be enjoying the scenery from flat on your back, possibly with a cracked skull and a couple of broken bones. Most emergency rooms don’t offer much in the way of views.
With all the negatives I’ve listed about winter, I wouldn’t live anywhere else but Vermont’s Northeast Kingdom. Spring wouldn’t be nearly as welcome and beautiful if it weren’t preceded by a good old Northeast Kingdom winter.